Saturday, December 18, 2004

Would you like freedom fries with that?


My last review went over so well I've decided I will continue this series as long as I keep getting suggestions for products. If you want to make a suggestion, keep in mind that these reviews are only for products I have never used, and have no intention of buying

The product for this review was again suggested by Suki, who writes:
"I'm assuming it tastes like any other, but you're the reviewer."
Oh no my dear friend, W Ketchup does not taste like any other ketchup. W Ketchup tastes like it was plucked from condiment shelf of God. All the feeble attempts other companies have made at producing ketchup are put to shame by the culinary masterpiece that is W Ketchup.

From the W Ketchup website:
"The leading competitor not only has 57 varieties, but has 57 foreign factories as well. W Ketchup comes in one flavor: American."
You see, the competitor's ketchup is fowled with the bitter tang of left wing hatred towards America. W Ketchup, however, is flavored with the delicious sweat of decent hard working American factory workers. American factory worker sweat is rich in vitamins and nutrients, while the sweat of those filthy foreign ketchup factory workers is loaded with toxins and trans fatty acids.

We should all thank the good Lord for bringing us W Ketchup. Finally decent God-fearing Christians have something to put on their freedom fries. It's a good thing too, because if you use any other brand of ketchup Satan will rape you with a barbed wire dildo as you burn in the fires of Hell for all eternity. Don't believe me? Just look at this warning in the fine print on a packet of Heinz Ketchup.

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So unless you want your ass to get turned into a ketchup factory, go visit W Ketchup right now, and order a lifetime supply. If you're still in doubt, just remember...Satan doesn't use lube.

4 Comments:

Blogger The Cunning Linguist said...

Not only that, but it neutralizes the unshaven-nastiness that is French's Mustard.

Awesome post, even better than the last one.

6:07 PM  
Blogger Jillian said...

LOL!! Freaking...Awesome!!! Freedom Catsup...Oh lord have mercy. :-P

What will they think of next, I ask myself.

2:01 AM  
Blogger Sam said...

The fact that you actually both the stuff is funny. What I wanna know is does it make everything taste American, like sushi?

9:57 PM  
Blogger ShutUpEd said...

I think you missed the idea behind my reviews, I never buy anything that I review.

10:05 PM  

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