Friday, November 12, 2004

I hate my coworkers.

This was the inspiration for this post.

I work with two of the most annoying people on the planet. One is this redneck bitch who asks the same questions every day about ten thousand times, no matter how many times I explain something. She smells like she baths in an ashtray, and her retirement plan is to have her fat little daughter hit it big in Hollywood. Her daughter will never make it in Hollywood, because she has a bad personality and she gets lice all the time because they live in a filthy trailer.

This stupid bitch will leave a 3 minute message on someone's answering machine, and if the machine cuts her off, she'll call back to finish leaving the message. Then when she gets off the phone with someone, she pokes her ugly head out of her cubicle and repeats the entire conversation to everyone in the room.

Right across from her sits this massive tub of lard who complains about everything all day long. She eats at least two big nasty burgers from this fast food joint across the street every day, and she LICKS them. She LICKS her freaking hamburgers! It's one of the most disgusting things I've ever seen.

Someone took this fat bitch on a free trip to Las Vegas, and she complained the whole time. She didn't like the buffets because it was too difficult to get her fat ass out of her chair. She hardly left her hotel room the whole trip.

She said she doesn't watch any TV shows or movies that have children in them. She also said her son talked her into buying a 3000-dollar home theater system, but it was too complicated, so it's sitting in a storage room. I offered to buy it, and she didn't want to sell it because she "might want it some day." Then she has the nerve to complain about how poor she is all the time. To show how poor she is yesterday she ate a giant can of green beans mixed with potatoes for lunch. It made me want to vomit.

No one likes either one of these two morons, so they talk back and forth at each other. They sit there and discus their idiotic theories about every thing all day long, and I just want to kill them.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oy! They sound like wonderful people..gag me now! lol


11:55 PM  
Blogger Palzus said...

Thanks for adding my link. Anyway, I hvae not much to say. Later.

9:19 AM  
Blogger Diva said...

They have theories? Well God bless them.

I'll bet they're mentally stimulating ones too.

2:04 PM  
Blogger Marston Fleming said...

What a bunch of dumbass bitches.

8:43 PM  
Blogger Michele said...

Yes, but what do you REALLY think about them?

9:47 PM  
Blogger arash said...

do you work at the dmv?

4:23 AM  
Blogger Rene Merced Jr said...

You should be thankful, man. I used to have to work with a teenage convicted pedophile (child-sex enthusiast). He would sing Country and Western songs in my ear all damn day, word for word. When our job sent us out of town, I would have to share a hotel room with the "child orafice inspector". He overslept for work everyday, and had less than impecable hygiene. He even got so high on the job one day he passed out in a ditch on the side of the highway. Of course, he was eventually fired (after about only two months on the job), which was one of the happiest days of my life!

6:19 PM  
Blogger Ellie said...

Sigh. I think I know why your blog is titled "Shut up Ed". I love it, I think parts of it are great.

8:35 PM  
Blogger portuguesa nova said...

I find it sickeningly therapeutic to hear other peoples' co-worker rants...I have one too, if it might help you,

Thanks. Really. Tomorrow is Monday and God I hate my job.

12:45 AM  
Blogger Chox said...

i hate working with dumb biatches. of course, they're easy to manipulate and make fun just work it to your advantage.

4:14 AM  
Blogger C-8 said...

i love the title of your blog (maybe because i sit next to someone named ed who needs to stfu) - but check out this blog it's a valentine to co-worker hate

3:42 PM  
Blogger I Am The Walrus said...

I work with a young woman who constantly complains about "agism." As in those of us who have lived over fifty years are prejudiced against her. No, it might have somthing to do with her plastic lunch bunket with fat legged cartoon horses, her holly hobbit t-shirts, her pens with little pink doo-hickeys on them, or maybe, it's because she's a fucking idiot.

8:08 PM  
Blogger Jim said...

LOL. Why do those two coworkers sound so familiar?

9:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Office Supplies are pretty boring, but what about organization, productivity, office humor and annoying your coworkers?

4:05 PM  
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