Wednesday, October 20, 2004

What kind of Asshole are you?

Surfing the blog scene I see a lot of sites that have links to these stupid quizzes to determine what kind of (insert just about anything you want here) you are. It's a cheesy gimmick to get people to visit the site that is sponsoring the quiz.

I'm sick of seeing these things. So naturally I decided to come up with my own. Answer the following questions, and your score will tell you what kind of asshole you are.

When you show up to work 30 minutes late you:
A) Make up a bunch of excuses about bad traffic, or your house burning down, or having to take your kid to the hospital for 3rd degree burns after your house burned down.

B) Tell your boss that it won't happen again, even though you know it will, because you are an unreliable piece of shit.

C) Tell your boss to shut the fuck up before you break your foot off in his ass.
You get knocked up and you are completely incapable of providing your child with a decent upbringing. Do you:
A) Have the baby, go on welfare, and live in a trailer as a leach on society for the rest of your life.

B) Give the baby up for adoption, but insist that the people who raise it let you visit whenever you want, so you can enjoy all the good times and still avoid the un-pleasantries of changing a diaper.

C) Cut that demon seed out with the nearest coat hanger.
You get your girlfriend knocked up and you are completely incapable of providing your child with a decent upbringing. Do you:
A) Marry the girl, get a job at a factory to support your new "family", and live in a drunken stupor for the rest of your life?

B) Leave the girl to raise the kid on her own, and end up giving her %87 percent of all your future paychecks for child support.

C) Stab that bitch in the stomach.
When you read the previous questions did you respond with:
A) Moral outrage and disgust.
B) Mild amusement, or indifference
C) Uncontrollable laughter.
If you answered mostly A, you are a "stupid asshole." Give up now, because there is no hope for your future.

If you answered mostly B, you are a "major asshole." You might be able to avoid poverty, if you are lucky.

If you answered mostly C, break out the lube, because you are a "fucking asshole." I hope you like prison movies, because you will soon be living one.


4 Comments:

Blogger Benjamin Solah said...

guess we're all assholes then ;)

8:56 PM  
Blogger ShutUpEd said...

That's right. I took the test myself, and it turns out I am a fucking asshole. Who would have thought?

9:28 PM  
Blogger Angie said...

See ... those quizzes can be fun :)

1:58 AM  
Anonymous greyspace said...

Oh, no. I had hoped that I might at least be an aardvark's asshole...

10:34 PM  

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