Tuesday, October 12, 2004

My Manifesto Part 2.

I never realized how much fun writing a manifesto could be. Once I realized I had too many ideas to put in a reasonable size post. So here's part two of my Presidential campaign platform.

I will make it illegal for the states to require drivers to carry auto insurance. Auto insurance is a horrendous scam, and needs to be stopped. You pay these bastards hundreds of thousands of dollars over your lifetime, and as soon as you try to make a claim they raise your rates or cancel your policy. And why is auto insurance required by law, but health insurance isn't?

I will give everyone the option of wiping their credit record clean when they turn 30. If Citibank doesn't like it, they shouldn't lend money to kids just out of high school that have no idea what they are getting themselves into. I will also create an agency to combat all the other predatory lending practices utilized by all the major credit card companies.

I will make it illegal for any network to air more than 2 hours of reality TV per day. I will also make it illegal for any cable network to air more than 2 hours of shows involving lists of any type. I realize this will probably but VH1 out of business, but I don't care. I'm sick and tired of seeing shows with titles like "The 2037 Funniest Cookie Jar Related Moments of the 90s." I'm also sick of seeing the same 10 to 15 almost celebrities talking about stupid shit for 16 hours at a time.

I will make Michael Moore and Rush Limbaugh battle each other to the death inside an authentic replica of Thunderdome. Of course that will happen during the fourth year of my presidency, because the first three years will be spent waiting for a special federally funded research facility to come up with bungee cords strong enough to support that kind of weight.

With these issues as the basis of my campaign I'm sure to win.

2 Comments:

Blogger Astrantia said...

I would like to read this entry, but my eyes are fucking killing me from having to squint to read the ultra small font size.

7:10 PM  
Blogger ShutUpEd said...

There is a very simple solution. If you are browsing with Mozilla, click on the "view" menu, and then select "Increase Text Size." If you are browsing with IE, simply click on this link, and download a real browser.

8:31 PM  

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